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That Was The Year That Was

Pussy-whipped Celebrity of the Year: Brad Pitt. Please don't tell me a middle-America corn-fed home grown great-looking abs guy like Brad Pitt is falling for half the stuff the Angelina Jolene is doing. Going to Africa for an adoption? Like we don't have any black children in the United States that need a home.

Tired of Hearing About: Tom Cruise and what's her name ("TomKatt"). 'Nuff said.

Chickens of the Year: TIME magazine. Person of the Year turned out to be You. Yes, you! Snore.

Political Philosophy of the Year: "The enemy of my political enemy is my friend." Democrats and the new media played this philosophy to the hilt putting the #1 enemy of the world as George W Bush. What happen to calling the terrorists bad guys? Good luck in your Google searches on finding one Democrat that believes terrorism is a top threat to our nation. The Democrat's era of peace in our time may be upon us, but one wonders if all this appeasement will really stop us being targets. Watch for LibDems to cry over the deaths of Saddam Hussein and Fidel Castro in 2007.

Domestic Spy Program of the Year: Anti-Smoking. Some people got a wild hair in their nether regions when they found out we were listening in on international calls of suspected terrorists. Of course these same people have no qualms about turning in their fellow Americans for smoking in a public establishment. Call 1-800-WE-RAT-ON-U. Operators in dark brown shirts are waiting to take your call. Trans fats are next on these do-gooder's list as our caretaker government tries to dig into our lives deeper than a colonoscopy.

Delusionist of the Year: Gay Democrats. Democrats are elected! Let's get married! Not so fast. Many of the new Democrats who got elected ran on conservative values like anti-abortion, pro-gun, and pro-family. I doubt too many blue-dog Democrats would like to brag to their constituents back home they voted for a transgender-inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Federal marriage amendment might not come up for a vote, but many pro-gay laws may not be voted on either. After all, 2008 is an election and re-election year.

DOA Cause of the Year: Global Warming. The "inconvenient truth" about Algore and his environ-mental friends is they don't practice what they preach. In this age of global communications, Algore decided to jet everywhere to promote his movie instead of using the latest pollution-free communications to get his message out. Don't look for too many Save-the-Earth people driving hybrids, or even a Yaris, or switching to incandescent-free lighting to save resources. Like with all liberal causes, their motto is "don't do what we do, do what we say."

Gay Non-Role Model(s) of the Year: Rosie O'Donnell and Bill Maher. Thank god Rosie is around to dispel the myth that all lesbians are loud-mouth lesbians. Bill Maher was not on anybody's top of the list for Advocate's 'Person of the Year' that I know. No Lance Bass + Reichen Lehmkuhl, no gay bloggers, no gay activists, no Rosie (thank God), no brave teens coming out of the closet were considered. All the gays move to the back of the bus, please. Thank you.